Raising Food-Conscious Kids Without the Guilt
We just had another fun and successful Halloween in the Christopher house. My daughters both dressed up, met up with friends from the neighborhood for trick-or-treating, watched movies, ate an unreasonable amount of candy, and had slumber parties with friends.
I think and write a lot about health, fitness, diet, and lifestyle. Given how much things go off the rails at this time of year, I'm surprisingly relaxed when it comes to stuff like this. I wanted to explore how we approach candy conversations with our kids. We are thoughtful in our approach but careful not to demonize anything the kids might be interested in eating. We came of age as parents when ideas like the Switch Witch were becoming popular—trading Halloween candy for some parent-chosen toy.
I think it's well-intentioned but just another sign of the overwhelming burden that millennial parents are asked to take on. And it's simply unnecessary. Unless there are acute medical issues, you should let your kids have free rein with candy sometimes.
I want to create an environment that encourages children to make good choices but never creates guilt around food.
Food Fuels Your Body, but It Can Also Be Fun
We need sufficient nutrients to build muscle, maintain cognitive function, and recover from physical activity. The primary consideration about what you eat should be what it will actually do for you.
Carbs are great for energy, but they won't help muscle repair—or for children, aid in growth and development. No child will make intentional dietary choices like that, but you have to keep those options available and consistently discuss why it matters.
No Food Is Bad
Food dyes, sugars, preservatives: these are the horsemen that keep millennial parents up at night. But ultimately, the poison is in the portion. Too much of anything can be bad for you—even too much water can be deadly.
While eating Halloween candy might not always be productive or advisable, there's a time and place to just let loose and experiment with what you like.
How to Design a Complete Meal
Something we've been doing with our children is having them identify the macros on their plates. We ask them to find the protein, carbs, etc. Then importantly, we talk about what proteins, carbs, fats, and micronutrients are for.
It's one thing to say "eat your vegetables" or stress about getting enough protein. But without understanding why, kids will just ignore that and eat what they want anyway.
Self-Regulation Is a Life Skill
The job of parenting is to raise adults, not children. Adults need to understand moderation and self-regulation. The only way to learn self-regulation is to practice, and practicing sometimes means overdoing it. Ultimately, it isn't my body—it's theirs—and they need to understand their own values and accept their own consequences. They might get an upset stomach after a night like this. Or they could develop cavities, or if done habitually, end up with more serious consequences.
Our job as parents is to help them think through cause and effect, consider their values, and let go as they make final decisions in these relatively low-risk areas. If they make a different decision than I would, I'm happy to let go and let life do the teaching.